Matthew or Maddie
by Matb Russia
Summary: Matthew is struggling with his gender, and on top of that he is in love with his best friend. Will Matthew have the courage to come out as Maddie or stay Matthew? FACE family, transgender!Canada transgender!Poland Pairings:FrUk, PruCan, Rusame, Polit, Gerita, and Turkaine
1. Prologue

**A/N: Pairings:FrUk, PruCan, Polit, Gerita, and Turkaine. Transgender!Canada Transgender!Poland. This is just the prologue of this story. I'm not going to write in this format for any other part of the story. I hope to make this a muti chapter fanfiction. I really took some time to write this. Please enjoy. :3**

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5 years old, Halloween

"What do you two want to be for Halloween?" Arthur asked squatting down to his two twin adopted sons, Matthew and Alfred.  
"I WANT TO BE A HERO!" Alfred yelled as he raced around the store. Arthur quickly got up and ran after Alfred mumbling something about Alfred being a bloody git. Francis, Arthur's husband, sat down next to a standing Matthew.  
"What do you want to be?" Francis asked Matthew. Matthew unlike is brother was quiet, and shy. Matthew starts fiddling with the hem of his shirt. He really wanted to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast and wear a dress, but he didn't know if his Papa and Dad would let him.  
"J-j-je vou-u-u-u-udrais êt-t-re B-b-b-b-elle. (I would like to be Belle.)" Matthew says stuttering in French and looking away from his Papa. At first Francis was surprise. Who wouldn't be his son just asked if he wanted to be a princess, but Francis recovered quickly.  
"Oui petit amour. You can be a princess. Would you like to wear a dress for your costume?" Francis asked smiling. Matthew nodded quickly. That Halloween Matthew got to be Princess Belle and Alfred got to be Captain America.

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3rd Grader,

At school Matthew was usually never noticed. It was like he was invisible. He also was too shy, so he never talked, but on the day the Polish boy Feliks stopped wearing girl clothing to school he got up the nerve to ask him why. Matthew envied the way Feliks dressed like a girl. He wish he could too, so every night when everyone was asleep he would sneak into their guest room and use the makeup his aunty left behind.  
"W-w-w-why d-d-d-did y-y-you st-st-st-stop?" Matthew nervously asked Feliks  
"Because like my dad totally like thinks I'm like going to like get bully and stuff." Feliks answered with a flip of his wrist "But I like totally don't care. I totally like dressing like a girl and stuff." That day Matthew had a new found love for himself.

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4th grader,

Matthew's cousin died of cancer. The will she wrote stated that all her clothing went to Matthew. Matthew was elated, but felt bad for being so because his cousin did die. He started wearing the clothing he got and the makeup when his family wasn't home or and at night. When he looked like a girl he called himself Maddie.

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6th grader,

When Matthew got into the 6th grade he got a job as a pet walker and lawn mower. He used the cash he earned to buy better makeup and more girl clothing. He also got the privilege to go out on his own, but that meant he could only go to a selected places and had to be home before 8:00 p.m, so Matthew would go out with a bag full of a girly outfit and his makeup and walk to the mall. Then he would quickly duck into the girl's restrooms and change before he would go out and shop as Maddie.

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7th grader,

Matthew grabbed a kitchen knife and went to the bathroom. Everyone was asleep he quickly shut the bathroom door forgetting to lock it. He pulled down his pants and boxers with one swift movement then grabbed his penis with one hand and and the knife with another. He didn't want it there anymore.  
"Why can't it just be gone?" Matthew asked out loud with tears threatening to spill down his face. Francis was up when he heared the voice from the bathroom. He quietly got out of bed not to wake up his partner next to him. He preceded to go to the source of the voice. He was not prepared to see a crying Matthew with his penis in one hand and a knife in the other. He rushed over and took the knife out of Matthew's hand before holding him as he cried.  
"Pourquoi est-ce que tu veux faire cela?(Why did you want to do this?)" Francis asked Matthew when he calmed down.  
" Je ne veux pas parler Papa, s'il-vous plaît(I don't want to talk about it Papa, please.)" Mathew said still depressed over the whole thing.  
"Oui, will talk about this when your ready mais never try it again, s'il-tu plaît mon petit amour."  
"Oui." Matthew stated before finding his pants and putting them back on. That night Matthew slept in his parents bed, but Matthew never talked about why he wanted to do that on that day and Francis never brought it up.

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**A/N: Some of the French is google translate, and some is not because I take French. Please review. :D**

**Mais- But **  
**Oui- Yes **  
**Petit amour- small love **  
**S'il-tu plaît/ s'il-vous plaît- Please**


	2. Chapter 1: Aunty

**A/N:** Thank you for the follows and favs, and reviews. Please review :D I will probably update on the weekends only, but I don't really know. Aunt Michelle is Seychelles so you know. Also I change pronouns and names after Matthew is completely done with his transformation to Maddie Constructive criticism is nice. Anyway here's the story.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hetalia.

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**Summer Before Highschool,**

"MATTHEW DADS WANNA KNOW IF YOU WANNA COME WITH US TO PICK UP AUNT MICHELLE!" Alfred yelled up to Matthew.

"Non" Matthew replied which wasn't a surprise to his family. Matthew never wanted to go out with his family when he got the option. He loved being home alone that meant he could be Maddie. Female Maddie.

Downstairs Francis sighs. He really wished Matthew would want to go places with his family like when he was little. Ever since 6th grade Matthew always wanted to be alone. Francis couldn't help but feel this tied to what happened with Matthew when he was in the 7th grade. Breaking out of thought Francis opens the door for Arthur and Alfred leaving Matthew home alone.

Matthew watches out the window as the family van drove away. He rushes over to his closet and pulls out a trunk full of Maddie's clothing and makeup. He picks out a red A-line dress with some 2 inch high pumps to wear, and then focuses on his makeup. He sits down and puts on bright glossy red lipstick, mascara, light brown eye shadow, and finishes off his makeup by making wings with eye liner. Finally the hair. He does a quick French braid and clips it up. Maddie looks in the mirror and smiles a real smile. After studying her looks for a while she get up and decides to clean up the guest room. She goes to her Ipod and turns on_ Drunk in Love_ by Beyoncé to the highest on her Ipod speaker then struts down the hallway to the guest room. Looking into the guest room Maddie sees it due for a vacuuming and the dresser needed to be cleared out. She quickly gets hard at work while singing along to the song. She'd finished vacuuming and was half way through clearing out the dresser when she hears the door bell ring repeatedly.

"Oh shit." Maddie mummers while half sprinting, the pump were hard to run in, to her room. Once her door is securely locked Maddie relaxes and slowly takes off some of her makeup and clothing turning back to Matthew.

"AUNT MICHELLE IS HERE MATTIE!" Alfred yells to Matthew from downstairs.

"Okay." Matthew says back as he looks at himself quickly in the mirror. A deep frown etched on his face.

"Why wasn't I born a girl." Matthew whispers to himself. Sighing Matthew gets up to go greet his aunty.

Michelle knew about Matthew being distant from the family. Francis always called her when he felt troubled about Matthew which happened very often. She started remembering when Matthew told her about how he liked dressing like a girl, but when she last called him he said other wise.

"Bonjour tante Michelle. (Hello aunt Michelle)" Matthew said quietly. Michelle was use to Matthew quietness since they uses to talk a lot.

"Sault! Mattie." Michelle replied cheerily and smiling.

"Dude are you wearing makeup!?" Alfred asked Matthew with horrified tone. Matthew turns away from Alfred blushing a deep red.

"No." Matthew whispers. Matthew lightly touches his lips and faintly feels gloss. _'Oh God I have lipstick on.'_ Matthew thought panicking in his head.

"Dude yes you are. I can see your fucking lipstick and mascara."_ 'I'm caught'_ Matthew thought. His eyes were glistening. From Alfred's tone Matthew knew Alfred didn't like this.

"LANGUAGE YOUNG MAN!" Arthur yells to Alfred from the kitchen.

"Bro you look like a_ freaking_ he-she." Alfred retorts annoyingly to Matthew. That's when Matthew lost it. Light tears trickled down his face, but he harshly whips them away._ 'I'm not a he-she'_ He thought _'I'm just different a different type of girl.'_

"YOUNG MAN YOU DO NOT CALL YOUR BROTHER A HE-SHE." Arthur yells as he stomps into the room "Bloody apologize now!"

"Sorry bro that you're a he-she." Alfred says with fake sincerity. Matthew couldn't take it anymore.

"YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT ALFRED. I WASN'T WEARING FUCKING MAKEUP, AND EVEN IF I WAS YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO JUDGE. YOUR THE ONE YOU BEATS UP THOSE BASTARDS WHO MAKE FUN OF GAYS. HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THOSE BASTARDS DO. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE "HERO". NOW YOUR ACTING LIKE A FUCKING BIGOT!" Matthew was bright red in the face after yelling in Alfred's face. Everyone shocked at Matthew's outbrust. Even Matthew surprised himself. Arthur tried to put a hand on Matthew's shoulder, but Matthew shrugged it off, and ran to his room slamming the door shut.

"Matthew" Francis says softly at Matthew's door. Matthew didn't answer. Francis sighs deeply."We are all going to store to get some spices to finish up dinner. Come s'il-tu plaît" Francis says hoping that maybe this once Matthew would come, but when he heard silent his chest tightened, and he felt like a horrid father. _'God what did I do wrong'_ Francis thinks as he runs his hand though his hair. Walking away from his son's room he goes to the guest room to talk to Michelle.

"Would you like to come to the store with us?" Francis asked Michelle sadly. Michelle noticed the hint of sadness in Francis voice. She really wish she could bring Francis' family back together. She remembered when they were so close.

"I think I'll stay home with Mattie. It looks like he needs some comforting." Michelle replies with sincerity. Francis forces a light smile and mummers a merci before go off to the store with his family minus Matthew.

Matthew watches as the van drives away for the second time today. He quickly goes to his trunk putting on his padded bra under his crop top. He then puts on his high-waisted A-line skirt and a pair of black heels. Lastly he puts on some light pink lip gloss that barely shows. After lightly smiling into the mirror Maddie grabs her laundry to go do.

Michelle hears Matthew's door open and quickly jumps out of her room to see him, but she doesn't expect to see Matthew dressed as a girl, and from Matthew's white face and the drop of the laundry basket in his hand she concludes he wasn't expecting to see her.

"Je-Je-Je-Je-Je…" Matthew starts before Michelle rushes over to hug her.

"Mattie do feel as if you should have been born a girl?" Michelle asks Matthew softly. He nods quickly.

"Are you transgender Mattie?" Michelle questions looking Matthew straight in the eye.

"O-o-o-oui." Matthew stammers out.

"Do you have a female name for yourself?"

"Oui, Maddie." Maddie surprised herself by not stuttering. Michelle bends down, picks up Maddie's laundry, and starts to walk to the laundry room. "Are you coming?" Michelle calls behind her. Maddie quickly catches up with Michelle.

After doing the laundry with her aunt, Maddie and Michelle go to the guest room, for now Michelle's room, to chat.

"How long have you known?" Michelle asks Maddie. Her voice edged with seriousness Maddie had never heard before. Maddie starts to fiddling with the hem of her skirt. Not because she's nervous, but because she is happy.

"I knew I was different when I was five, but I started dressing like a girl when I was in the 6th grade." Maddie said quietly, but casually. She already felt comfortable with Michelle as if she could tell her aunty anything.

"Francis told me about how you tried couper hors ta pénis (to cut off your penis) two years ago." Michelle says slowly "Are you going to ever try it again?"

"Non." Maddie states simply. She wasn't shocked by the question. She heard the conversation on the phone when Francis told Michelle about that day. At first she was mad at him, but she quickly got over it because she knew her papa needed someone to talk to.

"After lunch we should go SHOPPING!" Michelle squeals. Then the opening of a door was heard.

"AUNT MICHELLE WE'RE BACK!" Alfred screams up to his aunt. Michelle and Maddie hear Alfred ascending the stair and a jingling of the door. Michelle quickly gets up and blocks the door, so Alfred can't see in._ 'Shitshitshitshitshit'_ is all Maddie can think. After her initial shock she jumps into the closet and throws off her clothes quickly taking one of Michelle's T-shirt s and a pair of sweatpants. He then wipes his lips on his hand before jumping out of the closet forgetting to take off his padded bra.

"YOUR BRA, YOUR BRA!" Michelle yells at Matthew. Matthew throws off the T-shirt and takes off the bra then puts the shirt back on.

"Michelle is Matthew in the room with you?" Alfred asks from his by the door trying to look in. Michelle quickly blocks his way.

"Oui, now go downstairs. Maddie and I will be down soon." Michelle says calmly before shutting the door in Alfred's face.

"That was very close." Michelle says after sighing. Matthew starts shaking uncontrollably.

"Mattie. It's okay." Michelle says to Matthew while hugging him.

"W-w-w-w-what if A-a-a-a-alfred f-f-f-f-finds out? W-w-w-w-what if papa and d-d-d-ad find out? W-w-w-what if they don't l-l-l-l-love me anymore?" Matthew rushes out.

"Matttie your Papa's will love you no matter what, and Alfred still loves you." Michelle states to Matthew."Come on let's go down, and eat. Then later we can go shopping."

Lunch was fairly quiet until Alfred decided to opened his big mouth.

"Hey Michelle why were you yelling at Mattie your bra?" Alfred asked with his mouth full of food.

"Manners." Arthur states without look up.

"Well you see Alfred-"Michelle starts before Alfred cuts her off.

"And why'd you call him Maddie?" Alfred asks after swallowing his mouth full of food.

"Don't bloody interrupt people Alfred. That is rude." Arthur say a bit annoyed at Alfred's lack of manners. Michelle glances at Matthew who looked ready to run.

"May I be excused?" Matthew asks nervously getting up from his seat.

"Why mon petit Mattie?" Francis replies. _'Stay s'il-tu plaît ._' Francis thought

"S'il-vous plaît." Matthew pleads to Francis. Francis looks Matthew in the eyes. _'Papa looks so defeated'_ Matthew thought_ 'I did this to him'_

"Oui, oui" Francis says trying to sound cheery. "You can go." Mathew walks up to his room quickly room locking the door and going to his trunk. He pulls out an outfit and some of his makeup and throws it one of his bags. He then quickly slips on some tennis shoes, grabs he's bag, and walks out of his room.

"I'm going to the mall." Matthew shouts to his family while descending the stairs.

"Wait Mattie. I'll go with you." Michelle replies while running to catch up with Matthew. She slips on her shoes and together they leave to house and walk to the mall.

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**AT THE MALL**

Maddie and Michelle were in the girl's restroom finishing off Maddie's makeup.

"You look beautiful." Michelle says sincerely. "Now lets go shopping!" Michelle grabs Maddie's arm, and pulls her out of the bathroom.

Maddie and Michelle walk into the food court laughing. A certain silver hair German catches Maddie's eye. Her and Gilbert have been friends since he moved here, but over time she had formed a major crush on him. She glances at him and sees he is staring at her. He smirks at her and she glances away quickly as a light blush forms on her face.

"Oh. Look at the sliver hair boy over there. He's starring at you." Michelle whispers in Maddie's ear. Maddie blushes even harder. They grab a seat and Michelle goes off to get their food. Gilbert goes over to Maddie pulling up a seat next to her.

"Vats your name?" Gilbert asks flashing a gorgeous smile.

"M-m-m-maddie." Maddie murmurs out looking away now as red as the leaf on the Canadian flag.

"I'm ze awesome Gilbert." Gilbert states loudly. Maddie reminded Gilbert of his best friend Mattie.

"You remind me of ze awesome Gilbird, so I will call you Birdie." Gilbert states warmly. He also calls Mattie Birdie, but Gilbert had a crush on Mattie which Matthew was oblivious to. Mattie knew Gilbert was bisexual, but Gilbert didn't know he was transgender.

"Ve~ Gilbert Luddy's back with the food." Feliciano says from across the food court to Gilbert.

"Ja, coming." Gilbert yells back. Gilbert quickly scribes his number on a scrap piece of paper he got from his pocket, and hands it to Maddie.

"Here's my number. Call ze awesome me." Gilbert states before going back to his brother and his brother's boyfriend.

Michelle had been watching the scene and smiled to herself. She quickly went back to Maddie with the food after Gilbert left.

"Who was the boy?" Michelle asked smiling brightly.

"G-G-G-G-Gilbert." Maddie mummers while blushing even harder which she didn't think was possible. Michelle give Maddie an all knowing smile then they start eating.

By the time Matthew and Michelle got home it was past sunset, and Francis, Arthur, and Alfred where already in bed.

"Are we not there for Mattie?" Francis asks Arthur while sitting in bed. "No I believe we are. I know you are worried. I am worried too, but I believe we should just give him his space." Arthur replies while grabbing Francis's hand in his. "Lets go to sleep you bloody frog." Arthur and Francis then drift off to sleep.

The rest of June went in the same pattern, after breakfast Michelle and Matthew go out for the day while Francis worries about him. By the end of June it was time for Michelle to go back to Seychelles.

"We're going to miss you aunty." Matthew said with tears in his eyes. He had finally come out to someone, but now they're leaving. They were all at the airport saying their goodbyes to Michelle. She grabs Matthew into a hug.

"Call Gilbert, and don't be afraid to be yourself." Michelle whispers into Matthew's ear. She lets go of Matthew and smiles up at everyone. "Bye. I'll miss you all." Michelle then went to go catch her plane.

At home Matthew finds Gilbert's number and calls him for the first time.

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**A/N:**

**Sault- Hi**

**Merci-Thank you**

**Je- I**

**Oui- Yes**

**Non- No**


	3. Chapter 2: First Day of School

**A/N: Thank you to all who read it. :3 OK so here is the deal on Poland her name is Felka because she is a transgender her pronouns are feminine. Yue is Yao. Chuluun is Mongolia. Please enjoy**

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Matthew wakes up to the smell of pancakes cooking and smiles then quickly frowns realizes it's the first day of school. Getting out of bed Matthew puts on his high-waisted jeans with a shirt with the transgender flag on in which his aunt got him for his birthday. He puts his baggy red hoodie which he got from his dads also for his birthday, over everything, and grabs his converse, lacing them up quickly. _'Another school year in the closet'_ Matthew thinks to himself before racing down the stairs.

Francis had finished the pancakes right as he saw Mattie race down the stairs. Alfred was already downstairs stuffing McDonald hamburgers into his mouth. It had become a tradition to eat their favorite meal for breakfast on the first day of school.

"Mornin' bro." Alfred says mouth full hamburgers.

"Bonjour! Mattie." Francis expresses excitedly to Matthew while putting Matthew's pancakes on a plate handing it to him. Matthew grabs the Maple syrup, drowning his pancakes with them.

"Bonjour" Matthew mumbles before starting to eat the pancakes. The truth of the matter is Matthew really wanted to go to school, but dreaded it as well. After Matthew had called Gilbert, he and Gilbert had hung out, but Gilbert had hung out with Matthew when he was Maddie. He still was clueless to the fact of Maddie being Matthew like almost everyone else.

"Dude we're gonna be high schoolers!" Alfred states excitedly as he cleans up the area where he ate.

"Oui." Matthew says quietly. He quickly puts his empty plate in the sink, and grabs his backpack by the door. He and Alfred waited by the door for their dad.

"Bonjour mon amour." Francis whispers huskily into Arthur's ear. "Honhonhon When you come back we can have fun, oui?"

"You perverted bloody frog!" Arthur half shouts at Francis with a major blush spreading on his face. He quickly leaves the kitchen to go drive the boys to school.

* * *

**School and Car Ride**

The car ride to school started well, but ended awkwardly. It all started with Alfred's question.

"When did you come out dad?" Alfred questions practically bouncing up and down in the seat.

"During sophomore year. Why do you ask?" Arthur asks suspiciously raising one of his thick eyebrows. Alfred shrugs.

"Do you know anyone who came out as transgender?" Matthew asks in a barely audible tone.

"Why yes Yue formerly know as Yao. She had told me earlier, so when she came out freshman year I wasn't shocked." Arthur says in a knowing tone. "Why the question?"

"Well because-" Matthew starts nervously

"NO WAY YUE IS A HE-SHE!" Alfred yells cutting Matthew off.

"YOUNG MAN, YOU DO NOT CALL TRANSGENDERS HE-SHES!" Arthur screams from drivers seat. Matthew slowly sinks down in his seat. "If it wasn't for it being your first day of school I would have grounded you." An awkward silent settled in the car for the rest of the way to school.

"We're here." Arthur says gently. The two boys quickly get out mumbling a quick goodbye. Alfred walks off to his group of friends while Matthew goes off to stand in front of the school.

"OH MATTHEW I MISS YOU!" Katyusha yells while running over to Matthew who was in front of the school. She throws herself at him squeezing his head into her enormous boobs while she cries. She and Matthew are a year apart, and since Matthew was in the eighth grade last year and she was a freshman she hadn't really seen him since forever.

"Me too. Can you please let me go. I can't breathe." Matthew wheezes out trying to catch his breath. Sadik pulls his girlfriend off of Matthew.

"Sorry about that." Sadik says to Matthew flashing one of his signature smirks. Matthew used to have a tiny crush on him, but once Gilbert came that changed.

"Kesesesesese! Hey Birdie!" Gilbert says excitedly coming up behind Matthew.

"S-s-s-sault. Uh I-I-I-I mean h-h-hi." Matthew stammers blushing furiously staring intensely at the ground.

"Like hey everyone. How was like your summer? Mine was like totally awesome." Felka says walking up to the group of friends dragging her awkward boyfriend Toris with her. Felka came out as transgender last year, and everyone seemed to not really care or didn't seem to want to say anything bad about it minus Chuluun who was the school bully. She scares everyone, but had no friends, so it bogged everyone how she ruled the school. She was Yue's younger sister, but Yue got kicked out after she came out to her family. After being kicked out Yue got married to Gupta which is Sadik's older brother. Chuluun comes by the group and pushes Felka down.

"Stop getting in my way he-she." Chuluun snorts and walks off with her two long braids swaying. Felka gets up with the help of Toris, and flips her hair.

"Why is she like always hating on me? Like I totally did nothing to her. Like totally not cool." Felka says with a huff.

"Anyway I totally like love your jeans Mattie." Matthew looks at his outfit then looks at Felka's and realizes they are wearing the same outfit, but Matthews hoodie covers shirt and top part of his jeans. _'Oh non. How could Felka even know their the same jeans?'_ Matthew thinks. He starts blushing a deep red and looks away.

"I-I-I-I um w-w-well m-m-merci." Matthew whispers avoiding eye contact with Felka.

"Bride, how vas your summer?" Gilbert asks Matthew totally unfazed by Matthew's mini panic attack.

"Good. My a-a-aunty stayed with us." Matthew replies stumbling over the word aunty and staring at the ground.

"Mattie like where'd you like get-" Felka starts, but the bell rings and the school doors open saving Matthew from Felka's questions. All the students rush in pushing and shoving their way in. Gilbert instinctively grabs Matthew's hand and pulls him through the crowd. Matthew blushes for the third time today.

"Vhat's your locker number?" Gilbert asks Matthew still holding his hand.

"T-t-two f-f-f-fifty n-n-nine." Matthew says nervously looking straight at his and Gilbert's linked hands. "O-o-o-o-our h-h-h-h-h-hands." Gilbert quickly let's go of Matthew's hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Sorry Birdie." Gilbert mumbles before leading Matthew to his locker which is two lockers down for Gilbert's.

"Vhat's your classes?" Gilbert questions with a smirk playing on his face turning back to his old self after that awkward moment. Matthew pulls out his folded up schedule from his pocket and hands it to Gilbert.

"Kesesese! 5 classes with ze awesome me." Gilbert states smiling brightly. The only classes they didn't have together was Math in which Gilbert took Algebra while Matthew took Geometry, and their modern language class in which Matthew took French and Gilbert took German.

Every class for Matthew went in the same way. The teacher would call his name, he raises his hand, and the teacher looks right past him almost counting him absent until Glibert, Felka, or Katyusha would tell the teacher he's here. School dragged on like this, and Matthew was already ready to leave. He had planned a date with Gilbert. Well Maddie had actually planned a date with Gilbert. When Matthew heard the last bell ring he rejoiced, and quickly packed up his stuff rushing to his locker. When he got to his locker Felka was standing by it waiting for Matthew.

"Like I totally need your help." Felka says with a flip of her wrist.

"Why?" Matthew asks while trying to get into his locker.

"Well 'cause like Toris and mine like anniversary is like coming up, and I totally have like no idea's on like what to do. So will you like help me and stuff." Felka says smiling lightly.

"Oui. You can come over today, and we can think up ideas." Matthew answers while stuffing things into his bag. Zipping his bag Felka and Matthew walk to Matthew's home together.

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**A/N: I kind of feel like this is a filler chapter. Sorry. Anyways I hope you like it. :D I will update every weekend.  
**


	4. Chapter 3: Felka

**A/N: Thanks for all the love. :D Sorry that this chapter isn't really eventful. Okay here it is.**

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"I brought Felka home with me. We'll just be in my room." Matthew tries to yell, but it comes out as a regular talking tone. Before going up stairs Felka and Matthew go to the kitchen for a quick snack, but they find a note written by Francis. The note said "Je suis à travallie aussi Arthur et Alfred est à l'école. Amour Papa.(I am at work also Arthur is and Alfred is at school.)" Matthew smiles inwardly.

"Like what does it say?" Felka asks staring at the note. Felka takes French like Matthew but had just started this year.

"Just that no one is home." Matthew says trying to hide his excitement. Felka raises one of her eyebrows suspiciously at Matthew's excitement. Matthew ignores Felka's look and leads her to his room.

"Let's think of some ideas." Matthew says while grabbing a piece of paper and a pen. Quickly they start throwing out ideas. After a couple of hours of throwing out ideas Matthew relaxes, and starts talking about boys with Felka.

"Ivan like has such a totally like nice ass!" Felka squeals while messing with Matthew's hair. Matthew giggles at the comment.

"Oui. But Mr. Carriedo has a very nice one too." Matthew responds blushing slightly at the confession.

"Like totally I know, but like you can't go for him. The bad mouth Italian totally like has like an a thing for him. Like I think their like an item." Felka says knowingly flipping her wrist.

"Lovino?"

"Yeah. Like I totally know you have the hots for Gilbert." Felka says smirking slightly. Matthew turns a deep red, feeling as if he was on fire, so he quickly throws off his jacket showing Felka his outfit which is identical to hers.

"I-I-I-" Matthew starts not knowing what to say about the Gilbert thing, but Felka cuts him off noticing his outfit.

"OH MY GOD! I KNEW YOU WERE LIKE TOTALLY WEARING THE SAME JEANS LIKE AS ME! LIKE AND YOUR SHIRT YOU TOTALLY ARE LIKE TRANSGENDER LIKE ME ARENT..!" Felka starts blabbing off. Matthew looks down blushing and lightly taps Felka. Felka gets the hint and stops talking.

"O-o-o-oui. I-I-I-I-I'm t-t-t-t-transgender." Matthew tires saying it normally, but his voice fails him. Felka grabs Matthew's arms and starts jumping up and down on the bed with Matthew.

"OH MY GOD LIKE WHY DIDN'T YOU LIKE TELL ME! Get dressed we're like going somewhere totally awesome." Felka says with a giant smile on her face. Matthew smiles faintly and goes over to his closet to pull out his trunk. Felka and Matthew quickly get working on Mathew turning him into Maddie. Felka quickly touches up on her makeup and drags Maddie out the door.

* * *

** At the Mall**

Gilbert glanced at his phone for the umpteenth time since he got there 3 hours ago. _'Gott vere is she?'_ Gilbert thinks. _'Maybe she's running late? I'll just call Mattie.' _Picking up his phone he calls Matthew.

Maddie and Felka were at the community center which held support groups of LGBT teens. Conveniently it had been trans* week. There Maddie saw a few kids she knew such as the Hungarian girl Elizabeta who was gender fluid. All the teens were playing a noisy game when Gilbert called.

"Bonjour!" Maddie said into phone covering one ear so she could hear Gilbert.

"Maddie stud ze awesome ze up." _'Shit'_ Maddie thinks.

"No she didn't. She told me to tell you that's she's busy." Maddie says without thinking.

"Vait how do you know her?"

"OH MY GOD! Maddie!" Felka's yells to Maddie.

"Vait vere are-" Gilbert starts.

"Sorry got to go." Maddie says quickly cutting Gilbert off, and hanging up the phone. Gilbert stares at his phone. So many questions swarm in Gilbert's head, and he was determined to get them answered.

Months went by and Matthew refused to answer any of Gilbert's questions about the first night he was at the LGBT teens support group, and as Maddie she completely avoid Gilbert. Felka and Maddie went to the support group everyday until she knew the Gilbert needed the truth.

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**A/N: Please give me more ideas for chapters I'm kinda running out. Hope you like this chapter. It's really short sorry.**


	5. Chapter 4: Family Photos

**A/N: Total filler chapter. It's all about France and England's life. So this chapter is basically FACE family and Fruk. I decided to give America some love and Arthur more scenes. Tw: implied eating disorder and implied self harm. **

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It was Friday, and Francis and Arthur decided to clean their room together. Francis pulls a box from under their bed label family photos and smiles.

"Mon amour, look." Francis says beckoning to Arthur.

"What is it, love?" Arthur asks while walking over to see what his husband was talking about. Arthur smiles lightly when he sees the box marked family photos. He sits down next to Francis, grabs a random photo, and puts his head in Francis' lap holding the picture up ,so he and Francis could look at it. The photo was of Francis in the mist of a petit saut. He was wearing dark green silk tights with a lighter green long sleeve under shirt and a lime green embodied vest. The couple starts laughing loudly catching the attention of Matthew and Alfred.

Matthew and Alfred never hear their parents laugh so lovingly with each other. They're usually at each others throats. They both quickly get up from Matthew's bed where they had talked, and run to their parents room.

"WHO DIED!" Alfred yells crashing into the room. Francis and Arthur look at each other surprised before laughing again.

"Just a picture of your father in tights." Arthur says cheerily. Matthew and Alfred quickly sit down next to their dads wanting to look at the picture as well.

"Papa, you did ballet?" Matthew asks looking at Francis.

"Oui, oui. I stopped when I started high school." Francis says putting the picture down, and picking up another. This picture was of Arthur with a beer bottle one hand and a lite cigarette in the other. He held a smirk on his face, and was dress like a full-out punk, makeup and everything.

"Dad you freaking look like a punk!" Alfred states excitedly. Arthur smiles lightly at the photo and Alfred's comment.

"Why yes. I went through a punk phase around your age. Lasted until my third year of high school." Arthur replies putting the photo back. The family goes through more punk Arthur pictures seeing familiar and non familiar faces. Alfred picks up a photo of punk Arthur with two adults and five other kids. Alfred turns the picture over reading the back which just said family.

"Dad why don't we see your parents? We see Pop's parents all the time." Alfred asks with pure curiosity. Arthur frowns and Francis stiffens noticeably.

"Well you see boys. When I came out to my parents I was disowned, but by the time I did come out I was already married to your father. The last time I went back my mother was pregnant, but that was 8 years ago, and from what I heard he was put up for adoption." Arthur tries to smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes and looked very forced.

"But dad why don't you try again. I mean-" Alfred starts

"YOU FUCKING DON'T THINK I TRIED?! BLOODY HELL TO THAT! THAT BLOODY WOMEN I CALLED MUM WAS A BLOODY WHORE! ALL SHE DID WAS HAVE KIDS AND LET THE MAN LEAVE HER. LET THE BLOODY MAN TOUCH HER BLOODY KIDS! MY BLOODY BROTHERS AND I SOLD DRUGS, AND MY BLOODY GIT OF BROTHERS HAVE THE NERVE TO THINK SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME BECAUSE I'M GAY! WELL BLOODY FUCKING HELL TO THAT!" Arthur shouts pulling his head from the comfort of his husband's lap. Everyone knew Arthur had a short fuse, but the Brit never talked about his family. Francis quickly pulls the trembling Brit into his lap.

"Mon amour, I love you." Francis whispers sweetly into his ear and then kisses Arthur's forehead. Matthew quickly puts the picture back at the bottom, and Alfred picks up a picture of Francis' small family.

"Papa your family is petit." Matthew says trying to change the subject.

"Oui, mon famille, was very petit, and kind. My parents adopted Michelle from Seychelles when I was petit. Ma mère even walked Arthur down the loved me even more when I came out." Francis says while stroking Arthur's hair. Matthew puts away the photo of his Papa's family and pulls out one of his dads' wedding day. Arthur was in a High Neck Lace A-line eggshell wedding dress. Francis was in black dress pants and a white dress shirt with a bow tie.

"Dad it's a beautiful dress." Matthews said with a smile.

"You guys look so happy." Alfred says ignoring the fact that Arthur was wearing a dress.

"Oui, its was such a nice day." Francis says smiling brightly. "Mon Angleterre looked happier then I've ever seen him before. But the best part of the day was after the wedding in our suite honhonhon." Arthur turns bright red turning away from his boys. It took Matthew and Alfred awhile before they got what Francis implied.

"EWWW!" Alfred screams. Matthew turn a light red thinking about doing the dirty with Gilbert.

"How did you and dad meet, papa?" Matthew asks trying to change the subject. Francis and Arthur lightly smile at each other.

"Your père and I détest each other at first." Francis starts

"They hated each other." Matthew whispers the translation into Alfred's ear.

"We went to an international high school. The one you go to now. My mum lived back in England while I went to the school and Francis' parents lived in France" Arthur says

"We grew up together. Every summer mon famille went to England where we meet and became enemies, but eventually mon Angleterre told me he loves me and I said it right back. That was second year." Francis says sweetly. Matthew see it's the end of story he puts the picture away. Two certain pictures catches his and Alfred's eye. It was of Arthur trying to block the shot that was being taken. He was in a hospital bed and his arms wrapped in gauze. Matthew picks it up. Alfred up a picture of Francis staring straight at the camera with a blank look. He was hooked up to an IV in a hospital and was stick thin.

"Dads what's up with these pictures." Alfred says grabbing the one Matthew wast holding as well. Francis and Arthur sigh at the same time.

"Mon petit amour, in highschool I was anorexic. I would cook for everyone, but I wouldn't eat. In ballet you would have to be of a certain weight, and that stayed with me into high school. I starter starving myself. During physical education third year I passed out. Soon mon famille found out, and I was sent to a mental hospital for most of that year." Francis finishes then story looks down not catching Alfred's shift in stance, and his reddening face, but Matthew notices.

"Well boys I use to cut myself from seventh grade to third year. No one really liked me. I was bullied and had little friends. Even when I started dating Francis I couldn't stop. It was like rum, addictive and I couldn't get enough. After a fight with Francis I cut too deep and was admitted into a mental institute before Francis was." Arthur closes his eyes not catching Matthew glance at his covered wrists. Matthew used to cut before he accepted himself before he stopped caring about being noticed before he had allies. He stopped lasted year, but the scares remained. He glances at Alfred who was lightly touching his throat. _'What is Alfred hiding?'_ Matthew thinks. Arthur picks up a photo of Francis and Arthur at their honeymoon.

"We went to Vegas." Arthur states trying to change the topic. Matthew and Alfred didn't even hear the Brit talk for they were caught up in their own thoughts then Alfred's stomach rumbles loudly.

"I'm so freaking hungry." Alfred says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

"Oui oui let's go dîne." Francis say getting up and helping Arthur up. With that they all go downstairs.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you like this chapter :D Two chapters one week hope you like it. What's Alfred's secret? Hmmm**

**Dîne- eat dinner**

**Petit saut- A small jump, where the feet do not change positions in mid-air.**


	6. Chapter 5: Gilbert

**A/N: Hiya my ducklings. I hope you all are still interested in the story. :3**

* * *

"You totally need to talk to Gilbert. Avoiding him like won't help." Felka's says to Matthew while sitting with him at lunch.

"I can't. He might freak out, or he might stop being my friend." Matthew says frowning slightly at his lunch box. Francis refuses to let his sons eat the repulsive school lunch food, so eat day he cooks them a gourmet lunch for school.

"Oh my God! Stop acting like a baby. Like I know Gilbert, and he doesn't have a problem with me, so like just tell him." Felka says a bit harshly. She was getting a bit annoyed with Matthew's wussiness. Matthew malls it over a bit in his head, and comes to a conclusion.

"Okay I'll tell him tonight." Matthew says smiling lightly while looking up at Felka. Felka smiles back.

"Finally." Felka groans. As they both get up to dump their tray they see Alfred coming out of the restroom with a sick look on his face, but both just put it past themselves.

By the end of the school day Matthew was visibly shaking and second guessing himself. He dashes over to Gilbert's locker before he could change his mind., but by the time he got there Gilbert was opening his locker.

"H-h-h-hi." Matthew starts. He takes a big breath before continuing. "Meet Maddie at the mall in the food court at seven."

"Vhat Birdie? I have so many questions like-" Gilbert starts. He was just happy his crush was actually talking to him. Matthew holds up his hand stopping Gilbert.

"All your questions will be answered than." Matthew walks away smiling at his confidence.

At home Felka and Maddie were fussing over how Maddie should look. Eventually they agreed on a half red half white baby doll dress with black pumps and a nice little black purse. Her hair had two braids in the front which clipped together at the back. For her makeup they did wings with smoky eyes and bright red lipstick. Felka puts a note on the counter for Maddie and sneaks out Maddie's window with her.

At six thirty Felka ditches Maddie, so she can do this alone. Maddie starts fiddling with the her dress before Gilbert comes. He's wearing tight black skinny jeans that frame is nice ass and a white shirt with a black bird in the middle.

"Hey Birdie. Haven't talked to you since some months ago. I really missed you." Gilbert says with a smirk on his face. Maddie blushes slightly.

"I know you have a lot of questions, but I think this will answer all of them." Maddie takes in a big breath. "I was Matthew, but I'm transitioning into Maddie. I'm a transgender female." Maddie looks at the ground red face and on the verge of tear. Gilbert smiles brightly. _'I'm in love with the same Birdie.'_ Gilbert thinks. He grabs Maddie's face lifts it to his.

"Ich liebe dich Birdie (I love you)" Gilbert says. Maddie knew just enough German to know what Gilbert just said. Gilbert then brings Maddie's lips to his. The kiss was short but loving , and Maddie wanted it to never end. When it ended Maddie and Gilbert look at each other smiling brightly.

"I love you too Gil." Maddie says all her worries flushed away. Then they kiss again, but for a bit longer than last time.

Maddie and Gilbert stayed at the mall talking and kissing until eleven which is when the mall closes.

"Oh shit. I stayed out past curfew" Maddie says looking at her phone. She had five missed calls from Francis and five from Arthur.

"Never heard you cuss Birdie." Gilbert says snickering. Gilbert grabs Maddie's hand which makes her blush a deep red, and walks her home, but at the door Maddie realizes she doesn't have clothing to change into, and someone is probably up waiting for her.

"Shit. I can't go in." Maddie says more to herself the Gilbert. Gilbert lightly kisses her head causing her to blush again, and calm down a bit.

"You can't hide who you are from your väter for forever." Gilbert says into Maddie's hair. Gripping Gilbert's hand even tighter as she takes out the key to unlock the door.

Francis was sitting in the living room waiting for his Matthew to return for three hours. He stands up quickly when he hears the lock turn, and in comes Matthew dressed like a girl with a silver-haired boy he has only seen a few times. He gasps quietly.

* * *

**A/N: Short chapter sorry. Anyway next chapter gonna be mostly about Alfred actually, so hope you like this one.**

**Väter- Fathers**


	7. Chapter 6: Alfred

**A/N: Longer Chapter! Yeah! :D. Italics means its thoughts. Tw: eating disorder**

* * *

Francis slowly walks over to his Mattie, and touch his now hers face.

"Seventh grade." Francis barely whispers. Maddie takes in a breath before talking.

"Papa, Je suis une fille. (I am a girl). This is who I am Papa. I am Maddie, so please Papa understand." Maddie says looking straight into her Papa's eyes. Francis puts his hand into Maddie's with a blank expression on his face. Maddie bites her lip hard.

"I guess I've always had the belle daughter I've wanted." Francis says smiling at Maddie. Maddie throws herself into Francis' arms smiling brightly.

"I love you Papa!" Maddie brightly says smiling into her Papa's chest as he smiles back. After the hugging Francis finally notices the silver-haired boy standing there. Letting go of Maddie, he goes over to the sliver haired boy.

"And who are you?" Francis asks the boy while one hand resting on his hip.

"Mein name is ze awesome Gilbert." Gilbert says smilingly brightly. "I'm dating your daughter."

"Oui oui. Well will talk again more formally later. I'll leave the threats to my husband. You may leave now. Sault!" Francis says while ushering Gilbert out the door. Before leaving Gilbert pecks Maddie's lips then runs on home. Francis moves to go sit in the living room.

"Ma chérie (my darling). Come sit. We need to talk a little." Francis says motioning toward a chair. Maddie sit right next to her Papa putting her head on his shoulder.

"Oui Papa?" Maddie says blankly.

"Un ma chérie, How long have you known? Deux have you told your père ou frère (father or bother)? Trois would you like to start taking oestrogène?" Francis asks looking at Maddie seriously.

"Un I knew I was different when I was cinq, but I started dressing like a female when I was in the sixth grade. Deux non. Trois oui."

"Oui oui. I see. You will need to tell your père et frère (father and brother) before starting anything. Now go sleep ma chérie." Francis says then kisses Maddie on the forehead. Maddie drags herself to her room, and takes off her clothing before climbing into the bed falling into a soundless sleep.

* * *

**Morning **

Morning came quickly for Alfred for, he gotten almost no sleep. He gets up from his bed, and walks into his bathroom looking at himself in the mirror. He frowns at his reflection. He then pinches his stomach frowning even harder at the flabbiness. He lets go of his stomach then pinches his thighs, and lets small tears fall at all the fat he feels.

"Why am I so fat." Alfred says to his reflection. He lifts his fist to the mirror and punches it with all the anger he has at his fat body. Glass flies everywhere and blood pours down his fist. He stares at the now broken mirror with horror.

"What did I do?" Alfred whispers to himself._ 'You tried destroying your fat self, but you're still fat as ever. Fat ass.'_ Alfred's inner voice sneers at him in his head.

"I know." Alfred whispers defeatedly. He quickly cleans up the glass with some supplies in the bathroom cabinet, and dresses his wound with some gaze that was in the medicine cabinet. When Alfred finishes dressing his wound he leaves the bathroom to get dressed for school. He pulls on a big blue Tee with a bald eagle in the middle of it, and puts on baggy dark jeans, and grabs his under armour jacket and heads downstairs to eat breakfast.

"Hey pops. Hey bro. Hey dad." Alfred says as he sits down at the kitchen putting on a fake smile.

"Bonjour. Mon petit amour." Francis says to Alfred while putting a mountain of eggs, bacon, sausage, and massed potatoes in front of him.

"Bon appetit." Francis says smiling down at Alfred. _'He knows you're a fatty. That's why there is so much food on your plate. Look at Matthew's plate only portion size. Now look at your plate elephant portion size. You're such a fat pig.'_ Alfred's mind snickers at him. Alfred starts shoving food into his mouth trying to ignore the nagging voice in his head. He only stops eating after three plate now feeling like a ticking time bomb. He jumps up and throws his plates in the sink before going to the doors to wait for this dad and Mattie.

"Hey Al are you okay?" Mattie whispers into Alfred's ear coming out of nowhere. Alfred throws on a fake smile

"Of course bro." Alfred replies with fake brightness. Mattie winces slightly.

* * *

**School**

At school Alfred quickly runs to the bathroom and throws himself into an empty stall. He locks the stall before sticking two fingers down his throat vomiting up all his breakfast._ 'That's it throw up all your guilt fatty, but don't forget you'll always be a fatty.'_ Alfred throws up again now feeling empty. He gets up, flushes the toilet, and wipes off his face. He quickly gets out of the bathroom being late to his first block. Before getting to his first class he runs into what he thinks is a wall.

"Shit." Alfred mummers while getting up from the ground where he landed.

"Hello Fredka." A boy says with his signature childish smile. Alfred frowns at the boy Ivan. Alfred hates the commie on the outside, but really actually likes the boy on the inside._ 'He thinks you're a fat pig too.'_ Alfred minds says to him. 'I know' Alfred says replying to the voice.

"What do you want Ivan?" Alfred asks Ivan with a fake annoyed voice.

"Oh Fredka you look sad." Ivan says looking straight into Alfred's eyes. Alfred looks away blushing. Ivan grabs Alfred's face making Alfred look at him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE COMMIE!" Alfred yells pulling out of Ivan's grip running to class._ 'He hates you now like everyone else'_ The voice in Alfred head says while laughing rudely.

"I know." Alfred whispers back. Alfred burst into his first block class which is English hella late. Everyone looks at the very late Alfred.

"Glad you decide to join us Mr. Kirkland-Bonnefoy." His Honors English teacher says.

"Sorry ma'am." Alfred says frowning lightly slowly walking to his seat.

All the classes were the same leading up to lunch. All he could think about was Ivan and the voice telling him such horrid things about himself. Alfred walks into lunch and sits down next to his usual group of friends which include Kiku, Hercules, Lugwig, Feliciano, Lovino, and Vash. He pulls out his lunch box filled with so much food. _'God why are you so fucking fat?! Why don't just stop eating?! Oh yeah that's right you such a fatty you have to eat.' _Alfred voice in his head snarls at him._ 'I'm sorry. I know.'_ Alfred replies to the voice. He knows the voice is right, but all he can do from crying in front of his friends is stuff his mouth with food. _'God and you have no manners.'_ The voice says while Alfred stuffs himself.

"You going to eat that?" Alfred ask Kiku. Kiku picks up his biscuit and hands it to Alfred. _'Now all your friends no you're a fucking fat ass pig.'_ The voice says not even missing a beat. Alfred stuffs the biscuit into his mouth before finishing up his food.

"Alfred-san why do you eat so much?" Kiku asks Alfred. Alfred cleans up his face quickly is packs his trash. _'Translation you're a fat ass'_

"HAHA! Kiku I'm always just so hungry." Alfred replies with a fake smile. Alfred quickly gets up to throw his trash away before anymore questions. After throwing his trash away he races to the bathroom to empty his guilt. Walking in there he sees Ivan looking in the mirror.

"Hello Fredka." Ivan says upon seeing Alfred come in. Alfred ignores him and goes into a stall. _'Take away your guilt fattso.' _Alfred throws up the contents of his stomach and lets big fat tears roll down his face.

"Even my tears are fat" Alfred says to himself.

Ivan hadn't left the bathroom yet and he heard Alfred throwing up and crying. He slowly goes over to the stall and knocks on the door.

"Fredka are you okay?" Ivan asks through the door. Alfred quickly tries and fails from stopping himself from crying.

"Y-y-y-yeah. The awesome hero is always alright." Alfred says through sniffles. _'See fattso now he knows.'_

"Fredka open up." Ivan says through the stall. Ivan worried about the American. He might be an asshole, but he liked the asshole. Just a little though.

"N-n-no." Alfred replies not moving from his spot.

"I will kick down the door if Fredka does not open up." Ivan says strongly. Alfred moves to go open the door. Ivan quickly pulls the red-eyed, red-faced American close to him.

"What is wrong Alfred." Ivan says sweetly. Alfred looses it again crying hard into Ivan's chest.

"I-I-I'm fat. Really fat and everyone sees it. You know it too. I'm just some fatty right?" Alfred says harshly trying and failing to pull out of Ivan's tight grip.

"No you are beautiful." Ivan whispers softly in Alfred's ear. Alfred stiffens. _'He's lying. He just trying to keep you from crying fatty. I can't believe you're stupid enough to believe that. You're fat and stupid now.'_

"No you're lying. You just pity me cause I'm fat!" Alfred half screams again trying and failing to get out of Ivan's grip.

"No Alfred. I love you. You are my sunflower." Ivan says to Alfred a bit harshly looking straight into Alfred's eyes.

"I-I-Ivan-" Was all Alfred could get out before a pair of lips met his. He was a bit surprise at first, but then kissed back eagerly. They only stopped to take a breath.

"I love you too, but you're still a commie." Alfred says breathlessly. Ivan chuckles loudly before getting up and helping Alfred up.

"Let us leave school early, da?" Ivan asks with his usual child like smile.

"You mean ditch." Alfred asks while wiping his face. "Okay." Alfred smiles for real for once since the voice came to torment him.

Ditching school was fairly easy for the couple. They both sat down on a bench in a nearby park.

"Sunflower tell me why you were throwing up?" Ivan asked Alfred. Alfred looks away from Ivan.

"Because I'm fat. After I eat alot I throw up the food." Alfred answers. Ivan starts caressing Alfred's. _'Telling someone doesn't make you any less fat.'_

"My sunflower is bulimic." Ivan says softly. "Stop for me, da?." Alfred knew he couldn't stop, but if Ivan knew that he might tell the school counselor, and he doesn't want Ivan to worry about him.

"Okay. For you." Alfred says with a fake smile.

"Promise?" Ivan asks. He really didn't want Alfred to hurt himself. Alfred knew he was going to break that promise, and he hated himself for that.

"Promise." Alfred answers smiling again. Ivan leans down to kiss the American.

Alfred and Ivan made out till school was over. They didn't really want to leave, but they had to get home. Ivan walked Alfred home and kisses his head lightly.

"Bye my sunflower." Ivan says to Alfred before leaving. Alfred walks in putting on his fake happiness mask. He quickly realizes no one is home and goes upstairs to his room to weigh himself. He lets tears fall down his face as he sees the number._ 'God I didn't even know that you are this fat.'_

"I am a fucking fat pig." Alfred says out loud as he falls to his knees crying harder.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked this chapter. Next chapter is back to Maddie.**

**Beau- Beautiful **  
**Un- One**  
**Deux- Two**  
**Trois- Three**  
**Cinq- Five**  
**Oestrogène- Estrogen**  
**Sault can mean hi or bye.**


	8. Chapter 7: Coming Out to the Family

**A/N: The last chapter had Rusame, and that's going to be happening more and more. Here's more Maddie and stuff :D TW: eating disorder **

* * *

"Dad can we talk in your room." Matthew asks his other dad Arthur.

"Of course lad." Arthur replies smiling on the inside. Matthew always confines in his papa, so Arthur felt included in Matthew's life for once.

Matthew walks into his parents bedroom and locks the door behind Arthur. Arthur decides to sit on his bed, and pats the space next to him. Matthew takes a seat next to Arthur and starts fiddling with the hem of his over sized T-shirt.

"What is it lad?" Arthur asks Matthew lightly. Everyone knew when Matthew was nervous he fiddles with the hem of his shirt. Matthew takes in a big breath before starting.

"Dad I'm transgender, so please can you start calling me Maddie and use female pronouns for me." Matthew asks nervously but not stammering. Arthur was taken back a bit by Matthew or now Maddie's coming out. He sits there quietly thinking on what to say. Maddie bites her lip hard drawing a bit of blood.

"Well sweetie. I guess I have a daughter. Have you told Francis? He has always wanted a daughter." Arthur says with a light smile. Maddie lets go of her lip and smiles brightly. She throws herself on Arthur.

"Please don't get mad at me if I forget. Just correct me sweetie." Arthur says through Maddie's bone crushing hug.

"Oui, bien sûr. I mean yes of course. Also I've already told papa." Maddie says while letting go of her dad. "I need to go tell Alfred now." Maddie jumps up, and opens the door. Upon opening the door Francis stumbles in.

"Sault!" Francis says as if he wasn't listening in. Maddie and Arthur laugh loudly.

Matthew quietly pushes Alfred's door open.

"Hey." Matthew says as he walks in on Alfred reading a comic book. Matthew shuts the door before walking any closer.

"Hey bro. Wanna sit?" Alfred asks while patting the seat next to him. Matthew shakes his head.

"I-I-I-I-I-I've got to tell you something A-A-A-A-Al." Matthew stammers quietly.

"Shoot." Alfred replies sitting up on the bed and putting the comic book down. Matthew takes in a big breath.

"I'm a female." Matthew says simply before look at his feet. Alfred was shocked, but he knew the hints were there.

"YOU'RE A TRANNY!" Alfred shouts. Matthew winces, but he knew this would happen.

"I'm not a tranny that's a derogatory term." Matthew says daringly looking Alfred in the eyes. "All you have to do is use female pronouns, and call me Maddie."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHY SHOULD I?! YOU'RE A FUCKING HE-SHE! I HAVE A HE-SHE AS A BROTHER!" Alfred yells standing up getting up into Maddie's face.

"God shut the fuck up Alfred! So the fuck what if I'm transgender?! I'm so fucking done talking to you Al! When you finally see how ignorant you're being talk to me." Maddie says while walking out the door, but before she leaves she adds "Sister. You have a sister as a 'he-she'." Maddie felt like a pile of trash after that argument, but luckily her dads were listening to the conversation and were ready to comfort her. Francis and Arthur hold a crying Maddie as they walk her parents room.

"It's okay ma chérie." Francis says holding Maddie in his lap as tear roll down her face.

"I'll go talk to Alfred." Arthur says while patting Maddie's back lightly before leaving the room to go talk to Alfred.

Arthur knocks on Alfred's door lightly.

"May I come in." Arthur says through the door.

"Whatever." Alfred replies from his bed. Arthur walks in and sits next to Alfred on his bed.

"If you're here to tell me how bad of a son I'm being and you hate me then don't even start. I already know that." Alfred starts looking down at his feet.

"No son. I came here to tell you even though we all do not agree with your views we all still love you very much." Arthur starts "But what you said to Maddie was rude and you will be punished for cursing and for what you said."

"Yeah I guess." Alfred says with a sigh. "I think I'll just hit the hay early."

"Okay good night." Arthur's says and quickly kisses Alfred on the forehead before leaving.

* * *

**Next day Monday**

The next day breakfast was the most awkward for the family. Francis tried to start small talk, but no one wanted speak. Arriving at school Alfred and Maddie didn't even speak.  
"God Al is such an asshole." Maddie says to her table at lunch. "Why doesn't he understand." Maddie then puts her head in her eyes.

"It's okay Maddie. I mean like my dad use to hate that I am transgender and stuff, but now he is totally like my biggest supporter." Felka says while patting Maddie's back. "He'll come around."

"Yeah Birdie." Gilbert says while nuzzling Maddie's neck. "You're prefect ze way you are." Maddie looks up and smiles at her boyfriend. She lightly kisses his nose.

At Alfred's table Alfred was ranting about Maddie.

"My freaking he-she of a brother just came out to me." Alfred starts, but he doesn't even see Vash eyebrows twitch angrily. "Dude he's a freaking tranny." Alfred throws his head dramatically on the table. He continues to rant until he says "This freaking he-she tranny thing isn't even my bro anymore." That's when Vash stands up and walks over to Alfred and pops one in his face. He doesn't stop there though. Be keeps punching Al until Lugwig pulls him away.

"YOU STUPID AMERICAN! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT! MADDIE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR SISTER YOU IDIOT! FUCKING LOVE HER!" Vash yells as he is getting pulled out of the lunch area. Feliciano runs after Lugwig, and Lovino runs after Feliciano.

"What was that all about?" Alfred asks Kiku as he holds his bloody nose. Kiku hands Alfred a napkin before explaining.

"Vash is a transgender male." Kiku states as he sits next to Alfred on the ground. Alfred looks at Kiku surprised.

"Really dude?!" Alfred asks still sitting on the ground.

"Yes. And it shouldn't be a problem." Kiku starts. "My oldest sister is transgender, and she got kicked out. I still care for her, and what you've said about transgender is rude and wrong. Maddie is still the same. All that is different is her gender, but even though she's always been transgender. Treat Maddie the same." That's when it clicked to Alfred. Alfred realized he was just being a total jerk off to Maddie, and he needed to apologize. Alfred quickly hugs Kiku much to Kiku's discomfort. Alfred gets up and sees everyone was staring at him, but he quickly runs to the bathroom. He still needed to purge. He shuts himself into a stall and sticks two fingers down his throat. As he throws up he feels a strong burning sensation in his throat and becomes light-headed.

"What the-" Alfred starts saying before he falls, and everything turns black.

At Maddie's table everyone one was starting at Alfred as he ran into the bathroom.

"O-M-G" Felka says dramatically. Everyone nods their head in agreement. Ivan who was sitting at the table next to them, jumps up to go see if the American broke is promise. Upon arriving in the bathroom Ivan sees a slightly open stall, and an unconscious American lying there. Ivan quickly leaves the bathroom to find help.

"Fredka he's unconscious!" Ivan says loudly to the lunch area. Maddie runs to go see her brother, and Felka goes to get the counselor Tino while Gilbert gets the principle Rome. Maddie runs into the bathroom with Ivan who was holding her blacked out brother. They both stay silent until Tino and principle Rome come in.

"Do any of you know what might of happened?" Tino asks calmly. Ivan breathes in slowly before talking.

"Da. Fredka is bulimic." Ivan states looking down at Alfred.

"I called the ambulance." Principle Rome states while putting away his phone. The school nurse Lukas comes running in and quickly knelt next to Alfred to check his heart beat.

"Faint. Not good." Lukas says with no emotion in his voice. After Lukas checked Alfred's heart beat the paramedics came and took Alfred away.

"Are you related." One of the paramedics asked Maddie while they were putting Alfred into the ambulance.

"Oui." Maddie answers not realizing she is speaking French.

"Okay you may come." They reply. Maddie quickly files into the ambulance as tears start littering her face.

"Pourquoi? Pourquoi?" Maddie says to Alfred tear freely dripping down her face fast.

* * *

**A/N: Angsty :(. Anyway hope you like the whole drama at the end. Please review.**

**Pourquoi- Why**


	9. Chapter 8: Hospital

**A/N: Finally up :D! My chapters might be up in two weeks instead of one now because I've been so busy like I said. This is the THIRD time I re-wrote this chapter. Anyways I might start a Hetalia Means Girl about Canada and America mostly. Laura is Belgium. Tell me what you think of that idea anyway here's the chapter. Tw: implied eating disorder**

* * *

By the time the paramedics were rolling in Alfred Francis and Arthur was there. When the small family tried to walk in with Alfred they were stopped by a doctor.

"Sorry you can't go in now he's unstable. When you can see him someone will call you down." The doctor says before rushing into Alfred's room. The family walks off to the waiting room in silences, but when Gilbert and Felka rush in Francis burst.

"Non, non, non." Francis starts before breaking down into tears. Arthur holds his crying husband trying to comfort him. Unlike Francis Matthew lets silent hot tears roll down his face. Gilbert pulls Matthew into a hug, lightly kissing his girlfriend's forehead.

"What if he dies? What if he hates me still? What if he dies mad at me?" Matthew questions to himself more than Gilbert.

"Birdie stop thinking of the 'what ifs'." Gilbert whispers softly into Maddie's ear.

"This is my entire fault. He's going to die mad at me, and it's my entire fault." Maddie says more tears building up. Felka goes over to Maddie and grabs her shoulders.

"Stop Maddie. Like no one knew he was bulimic. He like loves you and stuff, so stop blaming yourself. It's no one's fault, so like just stop." Felka says all up in Maddie's face. Maddie nods numbly and goes back to getting held by Gilbert. At this very moment Ivan rushes in.

"Is my sunflower okay?" Ivan asks Matthew. Matthew looks up confused.

"Sunflower?" Matthew asks to Ivan. Felka on the other hand felt like saying I knew it, but knew this was not the place or time.

"Da, my sunflower Fredka." Ivan replies "Is he okay?"

"You're dating my brother?" Matthew asks still confused over this all.

"Da, da." Ivan says getting a bit impatient. "Is he okay?" Arthur was looking at the teenagers and plotting which boys to threat for dating his kids. At that moment a nurse went to go talk to Francis and Arthur.

"Are you the parents of Alfred Kirkland-Bonnefoy?" The nurse asks directing Arthur and Francis. Francis looks up at the nurse and wipes his tears away cutely.

"Oui." Francis answers.

"The family can come with me." The nurse says. Arthur and Francis jump up to follow the nurse while Matthew quickly follows.

Alfred looked horrid and sickly when the family walked in. Francis takes Alfred's left side and holds his left hand in his while Matthew takes his right side and holds his right hand in his. Arthur takes Alfred's left side with Francis lightly patting his leg. Alfred opens his eyes lightly.

"Hey." Alfred starts hoarsely, "Hey Maddie I'm sorry. I was being stupid and I love you even though your transgender. You're the best sis." Alfred manages a small smile while Maddie breaks out into a full on smile. She grips his hand tighter.

"I love you too Al." Maddie says her smile never fading. Alfred lightly closes his eyes. The family gets up to let Ivan talk to Alfred alone.

"Hey Ivan." Alfred says lightly smiling. Ivan takes off his scarf and ties in around Alfred.

"Hello sunflower. I missed you." Ivan starts "When you get out of the hospital I will take back my scarf." Alfred smiles and touches the scarf lightly. Ivan lovely kisses Alfred on the forehead.

"Sleep sunflower." Ivan says before leaving. With that Alfred falls asleep.

Arthur decides to stay at the hospital with Alfred while Francis and Maddie go home. The ride home was awkwardly quiet and, arriving home neither of the two talked.

* * *

**A week later**

A week later Alfred was let out of the hospital, but he needed to go to a therapist and see the school counselor daily. The car ride home with Alfred was smiley, but all were fake. Arthur and Francis were worried out of their mind for Alfred and Maddie just couldn't wrap her head around everything.

Arriving home the small family help make dinner and afterword play a game. Arthur watches Alfred like a hawk not letting him go anywhere alone. Before Alfred came back Francis and Arthur took off Alfred's locks and remove the door to his bathroom. Alfred found it extremely unfair, but it kept his mouth shut.

Arthur and Francis call Alfred into their room to talk.

"Sit." Francis says softly. Alfred sits between his dads tensing up a bit.

"We love and care about you." Arthur starts "But you will start going to a therapist every day after school. Her name is Laura." Alfred gets up quickly. '_You're so fat and stupid." _Alfred voice sneers

"NO! I'M NOT CRAZY!" Alfred yells backing up into a wall. '_Yes you are. And fat.' _ Francis and Arthur walk over to Alfred slowly.

"We know you are not crazy. Therapy is for people who need a little more help in controlling their life." Arthur says slowly and calmly. '_HAHA! You can't even control your own mind. How do you expect to control your own life fat ass'. 'Have you purged yet? HAHA! Nope fat ass you haven't' 'God you're a fatty' 'You're a fatty! You're a fatty' _Alfred's voice in his head wouldn't stop. Sneering about how fat he was and stupid he was. It hurt and wanted it to stop. But it didn't.

"NO NO!" Alfred starts blocking his ears while sliding down the wall. "STOP! SHUT UP! PLEASE STOP! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I KNOW I KNOW! I'M FAT. I'M STUPID, BUT PLEASE JUST STOP." Alfred yells with his eyes closed tight. '_HAHA! No.' _The voice sneers evilly. Francis and Arthur watch in horror as Alfred breaks down. They quickly go to hold the screaming Alfred.

"_Shh Shh _mon petit amour." Francis says to Alfred trying to calm him down. Alfred stops screaming long enough to hear Francis. After Alfred stops screaming he breaks down into tears.

"The voice." Alfred starts through tears "It won't stop." Francis and Arthur hold Alfred tightly while stroking his hair.

"How long have you had the voice?" Arthur asks

"Since forever, but it's starting to get louder and more frequent." Alfred answers while wiping his tears.

"I'll go tell Maddie." Francis whispers into Arthur's ear. Arthur nods and Francis gets up to leave, but before he does he kisses Alfred's forehead promising to be back. Francis goes off to find Maddie fake reading in her room with tear littering her face.

"What's wrong with Alfred?" She asks getting up from her bed. Francis holds the tear filled Maddie while stroking her hair.

"I have to tell you something." Francis whispers to Maddie. Maddie looks ups at her dad.

"Oui." Maddie says. Francis smiles down at Maddie despite his falling house.

"Your père and I set up a doctor's appointment Saturday, so you can start oestrogène." Francis says. Maddie smiles up happily and hugs her father.

"Thanks papa." Maddie starts "Now go back to Alfred he needs you." Francis smiles and back to his broken Alfred.

* * *

**A/N: Angsty and Happy. Final finished the chapter and I'm actually proud of it. I had to re-type it on the computer, but so worth it.**

**Father- père**

**Oestrogène- Estrogen**


	10. Chapter 9: Therapy and Endocrinologist

**A/N: I did my research for this chapter to make it as accurate as possible. Lars or Dr. Rotmensen is Netherlands, and Lydie or Mrs.** **Rotmensen is Belgium. Please if some of my information is incorrect tell me. I am not trying to offend anyone I promise. Oh and lets says Maddie already saw a gender therapist because while doing my research I realized you had to go to gender therapy so, now this is an endocrinologist appointment. And I would like to thank everyone who has read the story. I really appreciate the reviews and follows and favs. You all are awesome :D.**

* * *

Maddie quickly gets up and runs to her trunk in her closet. Today was she was going to the endocrinologist. She pulls on a floral pencil skirt with a mostly light pink floral shirt that says 'SIMLE' on it. She then pulls out her makeup kit with a smile. She goes over to her table and sets the kit down and opens it. She puts on light pink lipstick and goes for a natural look for her eyes. She gets up with a smile brightly at herself. This is the first time her parents will actually see her like this. She quietly goes down the stairs where she sees everyone eating breakfast.

"Bonjour ma chérie." Francis start. "You look beautiful." Francis lightly puts down what he is cooking and goes over to Maddie with a bright smile. He lightly grabs her hands and twirls her around. She smiles up brightly at her papa.

"Merci Papa." Maddie replies to Francis. After that Francis goes back to cooking and Maddie sits down at the dining table. When Francis finishes cooking Alfred and Arthur come down.

"You look lovely, sweetie." Arthur says upon seeing Maddie's outfit.

"Yeah sis! You look nice!" Alfred exclaims while taking his seat next to Maddie.

"Thank you." Maddie says quietly while she blushes bright red.

"Dad!" Alfred whines loudly while Francis dishes out the food. Arthur doesn't even look up before replying.

"No," Arthur replies. He and the rest of the family then start to eat. Maddie looks at Alfred confused.

"I have to go see the therapist today." Alfred whispers into his sister's ear. Maddie nods in understanding before going back to eating. She decides not to get into this argument between her dad and brother, for she knows they never end well.

"But dad!" Alfred whines "I don't want to go to some therapist! I'm freaking not crazy!"

"Mon petit amour. Therapy is not for the crazies." Francis replies looking Alfred in the eye.

"But stiiilll!" Alfred wails "I have to talk to some freaking _stranger _about my 'problem'." Alfred uses quotation marks when he says problems. He was still in denial about having an eating disorder. Everyone at the table decides not to reply to Alfred in fear of pushing him off the edge.

"Eat your food." Arthur says while looking at Alfred's plate. He noticed he hadn't even touched his plate.

"I don't want to get any fatter than I am already." Alfred mummer under his breath, but Maddie hears it but acts like she didn't. She really didn't know what to say about it so she didn't say anything. In silence the family finishes eating.

"I am taking Alfred to his appointment and Francis is taking Maddie to hers." Arthur says while putting his and Francis' plate in the sink. Maddie and Alfred nod while they put their plates in the sink. Maddie waits by the door for Francis while Alfred sits down in the living room with his hands crossed over his chest and a frown etched in his face. Francis quickly grabs the keys to the minivan and his coat and walks out the door with Maddie.

At the doctor's office Maddie was nervous and excited. She just hoped everything went well. When she was called in she was just excited. She really wanted her outside to match her inside.

"Sit up on the bed please." The doctor says to Maddie while Francis takes a seat in a chair in the room.

"My name is Dr. Rotmensen, and I am your endocrinologist." Dr. Rotmensen says in a monotone voice.

Francis hands the doctor the certification from their gender therapist. Dr. Rotmensen looks over the paper quietly.

"Okay." Dr. Rotmensen says while he puts the papers on the table. After that it was like a normal checkup. In which question about her health was asked and things where checked.

"Everything looks good." Dr. Rotmensen says with his monotone voice. He then pulls out a paper and pen.

"How would you prefer to take estrogen?" Dr. Rotmensen asks Maddie.

"Patch." Maddie answers quickly. Francis lightly smiles at her daughter and Maddie smiles back. Dr. Rotmensen then writes something down on the paper slip he brought out and hands it to Francis. With that the two go to the pharmacy.

* * *

**With Alfred and Arthur **

When Maddie and Francis leave Arthur goes and gets ready while Alfred waits quietly. When Arthur finishes Alfred sighs deeply.

"Do I HAVE to go?" Alfred moans again. Arthur looks angrily at Alfred before he sighs deeply and goes over to sit next to Alfred.

"Lad." Arthur starts "I know you do not want to go, but it is your own good."

"But I don't know why I need to go." Alfred says. _'Yes you do.' _The voice sneers _'It's 'cause of me and 'cause you vomit up all your food.' _Alfred looks down in disgust. Arthur lightly hugs his son.

"Come. Let's go." Arthur says. With that the two go to the therapist.

At the therapist building Alfred frowns as he slouches down in his chair. Arthur on the other hand sits properly and steals glances at Alfred.

"Mrs. Rotmensen is ready to see Alfred." A lady says with a smile. Alfred gets up and the lady leads him to Mrs. Rotmensen's office. Alfred goes in and sits down in the chair in front of Mrs. Rotmensen.

"Hello I'm Mrs. Rotmensen, but you can call me Lydie." Lydie says happily and with an accent.

"Whatever." Alfred replies while looking away with his hands crossed over his chest and a scold on his face. Lydie takes notice and writes something down on her clipboard.

"How are you Alfred?" She asks trying to get Alfred to actually talk.

"Fine." He answers not changing is posture. Lydie keeps her smile while she thinks of a way to get him to open up.

"So are you dating someone?" She asks still cheerily. Alfred perks up a bit at this question.

"Yeah. I have a boyfriend named Ivan." Alfred replies while sitting up and looking at his therapist.

"What's he like?" She asks putting her clipboard down and leaning on her elbows on her desk.

"Well." Alfred starts "He's really tall and he's a commie bastard, but he's hot and kinda nice I guess." Lydie smiles brightly and chooses to ignore Alfred's cruse word.

"So how did you two get together?" Lydie asks. Alfred thinks a bit about it then answers.

"Don't wanna talk about it." Alfred answers while looking away again. Lydie takes a mental note of this and decides to change the subject.

"So you have a brother?" She asks smile never leaving.

"Sister now." Alfred responses while looking at her again. "She's transgender. She's also at the endocrinologist right now."

"My brother is an endocrinologist." Lydie say while sitting up. "His name is Lars or Dr. Rotmensen"

"I'll ask my sis about him when I get home." Alfred says lazily. Lydie knew she had to get him to say he had an eating disorder before she could help him, so she needed ways to beat around the bush.

"See Alfred I know you don't want to be here, but you have to so make it worth it please, Can you do that for me?" Lydie asks look straight into Alfred's eyes. Alfred stares right back and shrugs. _'Maybe she's right. I could try and get help.' _Alfred thinks. _'Ha! You'll need it while I'm here fatty.' _Alfred frowns at the voice. It might always be there, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

"My boyfriend and I met when he found me crying and purging in the school's bathroom. We ditched school like badasses, and then I guess we started going out." Alfred says knowingly while look at Lydie. Lydie quickly writes something down then looks at Alfred with a smile.

"Your session is over. Have a nice day Alfred." Lydie says smiling brightly. Alfred gets up and lightly waves bye to Lydie.

"Bye Lydie." Alfred says before leaving the office.

Both pairs got home at the same time. Maddie runs inside and looks at the estrogen patches she got. She quietly goes up stairs puts one right at the bottom of her stomach. Alfred quietly comes into Maddie's room while she is doing this.

"What's up sis?" Alfred asks. He then jumps onto Maddie's bed.

"Well now I take estrogen. How was your therapist appointment?" Maddie ask as she tucks her shirt back in and pulls up her pencil skirt.

"Actually it was cool." Alfred replies as he puts his hands behind his head. Maddie climbs onto the bed next to Alfred and copies his action.

"Was your endocrinologist named Dr. Rotmensen?" Alfred asked turning to look at Maddie. Maddie repeats Alfred's action.

"Yeah why?" Maddie questions.

"That's my therapist brother." Alfred answers. They both turn back to staring up at the ceiling and sit there in a comfortable silence until dinner time is called.

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**A/N: Like the chapter? The next one is about Maddie coming out to the school and more Alfred and the therapist! Hope this chapter is good! Please review!**


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